Everybody Dies
by Caitlynnn
Summary: Adam has only 5 months to live, his time is ticking, and Eli his best friend is trying to stop him from dying by pressing him to take the chemo, but he won't, so he devices a plan... A story about life and death and being stuck in the middle. Where do you go after you die? Who do you become? Adam/Eli. ONESHOT.


**Since December my life has been a little tragic and really chaotic. It's a thing I call: Cancer. Throughout the years its been happening in my family, I lost a lot of people I really loved and this year its been a lot worse. A family friend has recently died and someone who helped me when my dad was dying in the hospital is also dying of cancer. It's been pretty emotional. I read in January a book called The Fault In Our Stars and that book lead me to this: I am going to be a Chaplin for cancer patients when I graduate. It's been pretty hard…. I've been writing less, that's why I wrote this paragraph to say I'm sorry. I suck. I need to finish Collision but it's been pretty hard. I also found out that I will be alone next year in the new school year (my senior year) because all my friends (which consist of five people) are home schooling and going to different schools or graduated this year. (I have a small private school) The way I vent is through writing and through Eli Goldsworthy. I express all my stories of my own, my past, and emotions through Eli, if you haven't noticed. He's sort of like… my rock. I know that sounds weird, but I connect with Eli in so many ways that he has become someone who is my rock. (A character I know…) but he's graduating with me this year and that makes me sad. I have no more rock. It's getting pretty close to my last days with fanfiction. I might come back but as a different name and probably for a different fandom. But I just thought you should all know. I'm not going to stop writing for this fandom yet, maybe a year or so I will. After or right before I graduate. I'm going to need Eli this year. **

**Anyone watch House? The finale had me sobbing and I just needed to vent about that since it hit pretty close to home. I love Wilson and House's friendship and everything with Wilson's cancer just was too much for me since that's the word I've been hearing repeated over and over again: cancer, cancer, cancer…. This story is about life and death and cancer. It seemed appropriate to have Eli/Adam be in it. So here we go. **

**I don't own Degrassi. I only own Sam and the abandoned building and Scruff. **

**I. **

There were certain moments that can really change a person. The first tine you realize you love someone – the way they smile and the crinkle in their eye. It happens in a moment. The first time you win an award and you get that satisfied feeling that, hey, you actually accomplished something with that smirk playing around your lips. Or that moment when things just seem to go your way.

It's so small but the smallest things are the ones you remember the most.

Though everyone decides to block out the painful moments. Those happen in an instance, too. Someone you love dies, and you watch them die because you have nowhere else to go and you love them and you want them to know you love them, so you stay with them. Sometimes it begins to be too much so you walk out of the room hoping they don't notice but they do.

You never forget the person who was your very last hope.

**II. **

Eli gets up to a cold room. He shivers as he rises putting in his slippers and walking out of his one bedroom apartment. He grabs the cigarettes off the table, takes one out and lights it, the smoke filling the room and disappearing into oblivion.

On the table there is also half a bottle of Smirnoff that he drank the night before and cold pizza with flies circling around it like vultures. He smirks at the sight of it but he shakes his head. His cell phone rings and he answers immediately.

"Hey," his voice is low and husky.

"Eli," Clare exasperates and Eli lifts an eyebrow.

"What? What's the prognosis?"

"It's still no."

Eli doesn't say anything. Oh God, he thinks as something breaks inside of him. Its small but his bones are breaking inside of him and his heart is turning and he realizes in that moment he is broken. He takes the pills numbly out of his jean pocket swallowing them dry.

After a moment he says, "I want to fucking kill him." He says and on the other line Clare is crying.

"Me too," She agrees and that takes Eli aback. When Clare agrees it's always bad – especially in these situations.

"Don't say that," Eli scolds looking down.

"Why not?"

"That means you're giving up, too."

They both know it and that's the part that hurts the most. Knowing that someone you love is going to die.

"I'm not wanting to give up, but how can you convince a dying man not to die?"

**III. **

When Eli is ready for the morning he grabs his keys from the bowl by the door and heads to his car in the garage beneath his apartment. He shakes his head as he tries to start it but it doesn't work.

"Damnit damnit damnit!" he yells hitting his fist on the wheel making the horn honk. His first reaction is to call Adam who is actually a pro at fixing cars. But then he remembers. So he shakes his head getting his phone out of his pocket calling the well-known dialed number.

It rings for a bit and then, "Hey."

"Fiona, I need a favour." He shakes his head still sitting in the front seat.

"I'm trying to get to the fucking hospital but I can't because my fucking car has decided to break down on me like everything else." He sighs taking in a breath.

"Okay, that's a lot of fucks, but calm down. I'll be right there." She says and then adds, "I'm pretty fucking pissed too." And then hangs up.

About fifteen minutes later Fiona arrives with a car and her driver Lawrence opens the door up for Eli.

"He's so stupid sometimes." He says and Fiona looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "This is coming from a boy who crashed his car for his ex girlfriend who might be his current girlfriend."

No one would let that go.

It takes a moment for say anything, but when he does its pretty strained.

"I need him."

Fiona has only really had Holly J. and Imogen and well, Eli. And she always had a special spot for Eli. Not just because of his past but because he was Eli. She never really understood Eli. He could be happy one moment and then depressed as fuck the next. She knew he was bipolar, but he had his pills and his workouts, but she never really got it… she never really got him.

"And have you told Adam that?"

Eli shakes his head, "But he tried…."

"Tried?"

"He wanted me to tell him. But I couldn't do it."

It wasn't that Eli was afraid of his emotions; it was quite the opposite. He was one of the few rare men who showed their heart on his sleeve. No, he didn't cry, he didn't moan, but if he loved you he'd tell you. He would let you know exactly how he felt. Though sometimes emotions were better written down on pen and paper. He saw people better in between the lines and ink dissolving under it. He cared too much for people and often gave people his all without expecting love in return.

"Why not?" She asks.

"I don't want to talk about it."

He shut down on her and she just shook her head.

Eli took out his phone and put his earphones in, the song was playing in the background as he leaned against the window, letting the coolness of it take him away as he closed his eyes….

**[Week before]**

_Eli had a coffee in his hand and he wasn't going to leave until he could convince Adam _to take the chemo. He knew that he wasn't probably going to go through it. But Eli had to try.

"Adam Torres," Eli said, showing him his badge and the nurse nodded, taking out her pager, "There's a Eli Goldsworthy from the cancer wing here to see you." She said and on the other line Adam said, "Room forty third floor."

Eli nodded and the nurse said, "How's Sam?" And Eli sighed, "She's alright," He shrugged and smiled sadly. Sam was the nurses favourite. They all loved Sam at the cancer wing, she was bright and well above her years and she was dying of cancer.

"See you around," Eli said nodding to her as he went to the elevator.

When he got to the third floor he saw Adam putting an IV in a little girl's arms. From afar away you couldn't tell he was sick. Though if you got closer you saw how dead his eyes look.

"Adam," Eli chirped up a bit and he turned to stare at his best friend.

"Hey Eli," Adam said taking the coffee.

"My office?" Adam asked and Eli nodded.

When they got to his office Adam took off his jacket hanging it on his coat rack.

"What's up?" He said taking a sip nodding to himself the goodness of it all. He needed that cup of coffee. His energy was low.

Eli said getting a little shaky. "They said you wouldn't take the chemo." He leans back in his chair putting his feet on Adam's desk. Adam zeros on his feet and he shakes his head laughing with no humor.

"Eli…." Adam sighed not sure on what to say.

"I need to ask you something, Eli," Adam leaned in closer and Eli took his shoes off his desk and leaned in too. "What?" He whispered.

"I need you to tell me you love me," Adam said in a stern voice looking at Eli in the eye.

Eli looked at him for a second but then looked away staring out at the window. There was a park by the hospital, which was the cancers park anyways. Eli often took the little cancer patients there to be carefree. In the distance he saw Sam with the little girls and boys. She had her hair buzzed off she was a baldy. He sighed for a second as he cherished the moment of seeing kids playing.

It was the small moments that got to Eli. He was grown up now, and he had to deal with grown up things. Like to pay the rent, get food on his table, treat his girlfriend right, make his bed, make his breakfast, treat his patients right, tell their parents that their kids have only a month or more to live, love his family, feed his turtle, live, breathe, learn, grown, love, and cope. So to say, he missed his younger self. He missed being young. He was reminded of the time where he thought Neverland was real and how cool Peter Pan was and how he wished he never had to grow up because being grown up sucked so far. Though it was a brief moment of childishness, he cherished it.

As he turned back to Adam he shook his head. This was his best friend. The best friend that Eli took advantage of. He was the guy that Eli pawned two hundred dollars from, and Adam didn't even ask for money back. This was the guy that Eli took on his crazy near juvenile hall adventures. In a way they balanced each other out. Eli shared him his secrets and Adam always listened with a knowing smile. Though Eli tends to shut down on everyone there was something about Adam that he couldn't help but tell. It was just the fact that Adam waited patiently for Eli to come back to him no matter how far Eli strayed away from him. It was just something that he did. Eli had to be away from people for a while and while he did he left no warning he just left and the person that he notified that he was back was Adam. It was like everything inside of Eli broke when he found out that he only had so much time to live.

The cancer had started off small in Adam but the small part turned into something bigger and they didn't catch it in time to stop it. It was slowly devouring his brain. It made Eli go off, set him off, he couldn't find himself for a while. So Eli disappeared from work, got in trouble and he was going to be sent to jail pretty soon if he didn't clear his act up. After he went missing he was determined to find a treatment for Adam. After all, Eli was a cancer doctor. He wanted to help his best friend the best way he possibly could. But it was like Clare said, how can you convince a dying man not to die?

"I can't." Eli said.

"Why not?" Adam asked.

"Because that is a clear sign that you are giving up. YOU CAN'T GIVE UP ADAM!" Eli yelled almost dumping his own coffee.

Adam got up as well but slowly looking down at his desk, at the mahogany.

"I need you," Eli said his voice had tears, and they were choking him. He couldn't breathe.

"You have to do this for me, please, Adam." Eli begged.

Adam didn't say anything as he just stood there looking at the broken boy – not man – boy in front of him. He was still a boy. When you cry, Adam determined, it is your most vulnerable side, your younger side truly comes out when you cry.

"I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU ELI!" Adam lashed out, "Why can't I just do ONE THING JUST ONE FUCKING THING FOR ME?" Adam threw his coffee against the wall, clearly pissed he was panting so hard he couldn't stop his breathing.

"Eli, I risk my ass for you all the time. All I want to do is just fucking die. Can't you let me just die? Please? This time for me?" Adam was crying now. He couldn't help it. All the other medications and chemo's weren't working and the one treatment that Eli wanted Adam to go through was exhausting and Adam was just tired…. He was just so fucking tired. He didn't want to go through it. He was just too tired and too exhausted. He loved life, but he couldn't go through it anymore….

**IV. **

As Eli came back to reality, he couldn't stop thinking about that day. It had haunted him ever since they fought about Adam's life. He wasn't sure what to do anymore.

After the fight Eli went home for the day and got drunk and drove at three in the morning nearly getting into a car crash. The police that pulled him over said that it was his last strike and that he would probably be sent to jail.

Eli had only a few more days left until the hearing and he had no idea of what he would do anymore. He would be sent to jail for at least three months, and that was three months of Adam's life. But they went through so much and he didn't know how to handle it.

Its like you have these great adventures with people, or one person, and you make so many memories with them its hard to see them out of your life. It frightened Eli to not have Adam in his life anymore. Adam was Eli's rock his solace. The thing that almost got him out of bed every morning. Eli and Adam's work was right next to each other. Adam was a surgeon, he was inspired after his own surgery to become one, that way people like him had someone who knew what it felt like to be a FTM or MTF. The cancer hospital was next to the regular hospital and they almost always spent lunch together and discussed their patients. Eli was a cancer Chaplin, he loved cancer patients. After CeCe died from cancer he decided it was what he wanted to do. In honor of his mother who died of it many years ago after Highschool.

Though after getting drunk he was about to lose it all.

"Eli?" Fiona shook his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She asked him and he shrugged.

"I'm just thinking about my hearing…." Eli said and then took in a long breath.

"Everything fucking sucks." Eli said after a moment putting his head into his hands, burying himself. Fiona rested her hand on his back, massaging him for comfort. Though Eli was far from needing comfort. He needed to be alone to think.

"Drop me off right here," Eli said.

"What?" Fiona asked panicked. They were close to getting on the highway.

"Just do it please." Eli begged and Fiona yelled for Lawrence to stop and he did. Eli got out, leaving his cell phone in her car.

"Can you lend me twenty bucks?" Eli asked and Fiona dug in her wallet giving him the money.

"See you," Eli said leaning in giving her a peck on the cheek and hugging her so close for a moment not moving. He let go and began to walk away.

He went to the local diner and made a call from there.

"Clare? Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I love you…. I'll see you. I just needed… I just needed to say that." He sighed as he hung up the phone. He got her answering machine. She was probably at the hospital on Adam's lunch break. Eli should be there but he wasn't.

Not sure on what really to do he decided to start walking to an abandoned building he knew well. A place he found for just him and Julia. He decided he'd hang out there for a while. It seemed like the appropriate time to get lost. No one knew about the building other than Julia who was dead. He wasn't sure but something about the place felt like home to him. It was empty and broken inside, which was one of the factors why he liked it there. The building itself was relatable.

It would take him a while to walk towards the building; he had to spend ten bucks on a cab to take him there and he thanked the cab driver graciously by giving him fifteen. So when he got to the building it was almost late afternoon. The door was blocked again so he had to break it down again. He wondered how long its been locked up like that since he last had been here. He didn't ponder on it for too long as he stepped in walking through the building. He could hear the birds and smell the shit they left as well as the rats that crawled around the floorboards. He cringed a bit at the thought of finding a mountain of dead rats and birds on the ground somewhere. He blocked it out of his mind as quickly as he could find somewhere somewhat clean to sit on. He just sat there for a second just thinking.

And then as he thought he began to fall asleep….

When he woke up he had an idea. Its funny how sleep can refresh you when you're at your lows. He sighed as he got up from the ground, his back aching a bit, but he quickly brushed it off as he started to think of the how of his plan. He was impulsive, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get it done and over with. He had a lot to weigh in on but he couldn't think about it at the moment. He started to walk again and he didn't have a ride back to the city.

He stayed in the building a little longer until nightfall. Leaving his phone was a stupid idea, he decided.

Then he heard some footsteps. He hid in the shadows and then someone yelled, "Look I know someone's in here!" And Eli relented and yelled back, "Yeah back here." He started walking towards the voice.

It was almost he was staring at his doppelganger, but the man in front of him was a bit more edgy looking and a little bit more older, but the resemblance was scary.

"Who in the hell are you?" The man asked and Eli stuck out his hand, "Eli Goldsworthy. And you?"

"No one." The man said. Eli raised an eyebrow.

"I forgot who I am." The man shrugged.

"People on the street call me scruff cause of my facial hair." He shrugged a bit. "I'm the only homeless man that has class though!" He belted out in laughter.

"I steal clothes from the homeless shelter. Not the ugly sweaters but the clothes that come from the rich people, if ya know what I mean!" The man, scruff, said and Eli just nodded slowly.

"Yeah, totally…." Eli didn't know what to say.

"I see you broke into my house." Scruff said and Eli nodded.

"Yeah I needed to get lost." Eli said in honesty.

"Yeah, welcome to the afterlife. Not much better, huh?"

Eli shook his head. Not much better….

"Do you by chance have a car or a bike?" Eli asked and the man nodded.

"I got myself a bike. I stole it from a kid who was dying. He smashed into the pole. Saw the whole thing. I decided, why not take the bike? He doesn't need it when he's dead anyways!" Scruff laughed and Eli didn't know what to say.

"Yeah why? You gonna steal it?"

"No," Eli said, "I just need to borrow it for tonight. I'll bring it back tomorrow." Eli promised. And he meant it. He just needed to get a few things.

"Well alright kid. For some reason, my other half, Lynch trusts ya." Eli had no clue who Lynch was but he just went with it.

Eli went outside and took the bike and began to cycle his way back home.

**V. **

When he got home he grabbed his wallet and he cycled to the nearest store and bought some lighter fluid and a twenty packs of matches. He sighed as he went to the hospital stashing the things he bought in the bushes. He had to sneak in to his office. He wrote an address and put Adam on top of it. That's all.

He sighed as he walked to the other hospital. He knew it; Clare and Adam were sitting in the cafeteria with Fiona drinking coffee. It looked like Adam was taking a night shift. Eli shook his head in disapproval. Though the scene looked all-wrong. Eli deserved to be in there with them, but for now, Eli was missing. Fiona probably already told them how odd he was acting and Adam probably told them the conversation that happened a week before. With even a deeper sigh he started to walk away and go back home again.

He wrote a note for the people who would come looking for him. In that moment Eli knew what he was doing now. It fell into tiny pieces in front of him the moment he dropped the pen and took one last look at his house. He wasn't going to bring anything besides the left over money. He would give that to Scruff even though he'd never need it. The pain that Eli felt was too much to bear. So before he left he curled up into a ball and began to heavy cry, rocking himself back and forth like a baby.

This is what it felt like to break down, he thought; this is what it felt like to lose everything. It takes only seconds.

"Oh God," He whispered, closing his eyes as pain swiped over his body. Something inside of him is broke. Everything he decided was broke.

He wasn't ready to go yet. He wasn't ready to give it all up. But he knew he had to do this. He had to make this decision. It wasn't for himself this time. It was selfish to his friends and his dead, but damnit; he was willing to lose everything and everyone if he needed to, to do this. And he would do it. So as he got up slowly he took another look at his apartment.

The cigarettes were still on the table along with the Smirnoff. He didn't know why but he felt nostalgic towards it.

When he got back on the bike with his fluids and the money and the medical records for Scruff who he found out Lynch Stallone. He was still alive though dead to everyone besides Eli. He would need him. Eli grabbed his medical records too. He'd have to borrow Lynch's bike again tomorrow to finish his final act. But for now this stuff would have to do.

As Eli biked back to the building it hit him; he was a no man. He was practically dead. Almost. But not yet; he was stuck right in the middle. Adam would hate him for a long time, but Adam risked so much for Eli that Eli was tired of owing his best friend. He needed to be owed. In friendship, you shouldn't have to owe them, but Eli abused his friendship with Adam to a point where he needed to be owed. And Eli was willing to give him the gift of…. Life. But in a different form, in a different way.

Eli was willing to let Adam die.

Though the courts weren't. They wanted to take Eli out of the world and into their cells with people who did far worse than Eli. But Eli couldn't have that. He couldn't have only two months left with Adam….

Because when you love someone it does not matter how much you lose; to be with them is to gain everything you lost.

That was the only thing that kept Eli going. He wasn't going to think about the after. The now was killing him. His heart kept on tightening. He wasn't sure what was making it work currently but he wanted to curse the person out for making it harder for him to breathe when all he wanted to do was have his heart fall out.

In the moment: he thought of Adam, he thought of them hunting, he thought of Clare, he thought of Clare and him on the bench, he thought of them having sex after two years of dating, he thought of Fiona, he thought of his crush on her, he thought of Imogen, and how much of a loyal friend she was, he thought of his mom, he thought of how his mom looked before she died, he thought of his dad, he thought of how his dad was a far stronger man than Eli would ever be, he thought of Julia, he thought of how Julia shaped him into who he was today, he thought of Adam again, he thought of all the great memories, he thought of all the heartbreaks they endured, he thought of all the trouble they got into, he thought of Adam graduating medical school, he thought of Adam getting drunk after graduating, he thought of Adam yelling at Eli to stop trying to kill himself, he thought of Adam bailing him out of trouble, he thought of Adam bringing him coffee after one of Eli's favorite patients died, he thought of Adam just being there, being there, being there. He thought of Adam, Adam, Adam, and all that came with Adam.

The memories were endless.

It was a moment that Eli had that really stuck with him. Its funny how time can do that to you. So many things change. You missed what you had. You miss your heartbreak, thought at the time it felt like you wouldn't make it, but you miss it anyways, because there always was a person, or thing behind it that kept you going.

"So what does it feel like to be in the middle Eli?" Scruff asked and Eli shrugged.

"I feel completely broken." Eli was tired of lying. He figured straight and fast was the way.

"People will do that to ya," Scruff said picking a bird's wing.

"I'm going to need to borrow your bike tomorrow." Eli said again and scruff nodded.

"You also need to shave," Eli threw him a razor and Scruff looked at it.

"Last time I saw one of these I was in the shower tryna kill myself, kid!" Scruff yelled but then laughed.

"Why do I need to shave?"

Eli didn't answer.

"Just fucking do it." Eli said coldly.

"Ha! Damn son, you're worse than a woman!" Scruff said but took the razor and started to shave.

"Can't believe you're making me shave dry. That shit hurts when you get cut."

Eli didn't say anything. He just wanted tonight to be over with so he could carry out his plan.

He heard a poem once from someone and it said:

"_There was a young man_

_Everyone thought was quite handsome. _

_So he tied up his face_

_And he held it for ransom._

_He made everybody _

_Back up 20 feet, _

_Then he ran off_

_With his head_

_Down a darkly _

_Lit street._

_The whole town wondered why he'd _

_Threatened his face, _

_They couldn't understand, _

…_. It was that kind of place." _

Lynch came to mind. Eli came to mind. Then Adam came to mind. Everyone he knew came to mind. Then he thought, people are fragments of each other, that's all he knew. They were fragments. So when Eli would be gone they'd still have a piece of him.

Everyone has to leave. It wasn't because he saw something better or anything like that. It's just that it was time. It was the hardest thing for him. But he had to leave everything and everyone he loved. It was for the better. He lived a good life with a few questionable but beautiful moments. The sadness was part of the goodness of it. Adam's death was beautiful in the most morbid way. Because death is beautiful. It hurts like hell, especially if you love the person, but when they die, they leave an aura of bittersweet that keeps you wanting for more. You'll never get it, but that's the best part.

"See you," Eli said as he started to fall asleep.

"I guess, kid, I guess." He heard Scruff say but he was already out…

In his sleep he imagined Clare and Adam, Fiona and Imogen all out for a picnic, they're drinking beer and eating really gross sandwiches that Fiona tried to make, and Eli provides the music with a good summer beat, not the mainstream shit, but the music Eli finds. They're smiling and it's perfect. They're buzzed but only slightly, the scenario is almost perfect until someone takes the picture from up above and tears it apart. Leaving Adam and Eli on one side and Clare, Fiona, Imogen on the other half of the picture; then the picture turns to black and white, no longer color and they slowly are starting to wear out, the scene is almost no longer there. It was like they weren't there they weren't living. And Eli wakes up.

Today is the day.

"You know Lynch, you're a weird fucking dude. But I'll miss you." Eli tells him as he gets his bike. Out of the way.

"Here," Eli hands him the drink and he takes his, asking, "What is it?"

"Beer," Eli lies. It looks like watered down beer, but its beer and the guy drinks it.

"I'll be seeing you." Eli says as Scruff eyes close and he's out like a light.

He drags him to the middle of the building. Eli then prepares himself an exit way and starts to put fluid all around the entrance to the building. He walks upstairs and puts even more fluid just thrashing it around everywhere. He doesn't like the matches yet, he waits for that part, but he keeps on putting fluid everywhere. Throwing the bottle around for fun. He's painting the walls with it. But he leaves the exit clear.

Then, when he think he's had enough he takes the medical papers and takes the bike and goes to the hospital, he runs to the bathroom and switches it. He then folds it back in his coat pocket as he sneaks into Adam's office. He calls his pager but doesn't say anything as he runs out of his office and back on his bike to the abandoned building. He only has a few minutes left before someone finds him. He keeps peddling faster and faster until he feels like passing out, and his side hurts like hell. He shakes his head as he dumps the bike and runs toward the building that is now drenched in fluid.

He slowly starts lighting the building. It catches like wild fire and Eli has to shrug out of his jacket and use it against the intoxicating fumes. He can hear a car pulling up and he looks out the window and makes eye contact with Clare and Adam. Clare is screaming and Adam is wide eyed. Then the roof caves in and Eli barely misses it as he lights a few more matches and then runs out the back of the building. He goes into hiding.

Once its dark out and from the distance he can hear the fireman trying to calm the fire down he knows they found Lynch's body. It's all ashes now, but Eli takes the bike and rides towards the hospital. He has to sneak his way in, because he still has his keys, and he does the final switch…

Eli Goldsworthy is officially a dead man.

He sets the folder of Lynch Stallone in the shredder then tosses it to the dumpster outside. He grabs his own folder and puts it in the morgue inside the hospital. On the table where pieces of Lynch Stallone lay… you can't tell that it's a human. It looks like just ash with some pieces here and there.

Eli shakes his head as he whispers, "I'll be seeing you."

After all, Eli is dead.

**VI. **

Eli's funeral was days after. Though Eli himself was hanging out at the building that was now burnt down. He had no place to go. He sighed, as he looked at all the burnt walls and all the places he put the fluid.

His funeral was today. A part of him wanted to go, but he had a plan. The courts could no longer get to him because he was "dead" and he had time now to spend with Adam…. In his last five months.

For a while all Eli could do was cry. After he burnt the building he burnt the rest of his life. He could no longer be a cancer doctor. He could have no future. He would have to move somewhere, or he would have to kill himself after Adam died. He had no point to live after he died because all that Eli did was for Adam now. He "died" so he could spend time with Adam instead of going to jail and spend only two months of Adam's life. At the time it seemed like a brilliant plan, it still does, but he couldn't help but think of the after.

Eli biked to the church early. No one would be there besides his dad who would be putting up decorations. He couldn't think about his dad. He couldn't think about the pain he put him through. After all the shit Eli put his dad through, put everyone through, he knew he was so selfish. He thought of no one but himself. He thought of his own feelings never taking anyone into consideration. But Adam changed that.

Its never too late to change.

So when Eli finds Adam's notes on the bench he takes a pen and paper and writes down a note for Adam another address for him to find him at. He sets his notes back into place as he takes a look at the decorated church and then takes Lynch's bike and leaves.

As Eli rides he thinks about life. And what it really means. He questioned himself this all the time. What is life? What is it to be stuck in between? What is it like to be dead? He figured that he was living it. He was in it currently. There was something liberating about being "dead" he could be anyone. But he in the moment, he didn't want to be just anyone. He wanted to be him. Just him. Just Eli. Just the boy who died for his best friend. Just…. Someone's best friend. Just someone. Anyone. Anything.

When he gets to the spot he sits and waits underneath the tree, enjoying the summer breeze. He hears a car and then a slam.

"Eli?" Adam yells and Eli opens his eyes.

"How are you-?" Adam shakes his head and Eli gets up slowly.

"They found your body and they…I saw them pull it out and…."

Eli doesn't say anything as he watches Adam freak out. He smiles a little at Adam.

"You're one sick bastard you fucking know that, right?" Adam yells.

"Do you know how much trouble you can be in when they find out that you-"

"I got out at the back of the building… I also switched the records." Eli says.

"You could be put in jail for years! You're destroying your entire life…. You… you can't go back from this." Adam yells and Eli smiles again.

It takes one glance for both of them to remember all the times they had. And it could be cheesy, but once you love someone, you have many of those moments. And they happen. It was nothing more than a friendship, and it was more than just brotherhood. Sure, Adam had Drew, but Eli? Eli was someone different. Eli caused Adam pain, more than he could imagine. Though somewhere along the way they made it work.

Eli stood closer.

"I'm dead, Adam…. How do you want to spend your last five months?"

**VII. Everybody Dies. **

It's back to the moments. How they shape us, how we learn from them. Who we become after them…. How life changes to fit them. How people move on, how people cope, how people… live. Breathe. Live. Love. Learn. And it was something that no one would understand. It was a mystery that people have come to accept.

After a while you become a moment. Eli finally understood it: after you die you become moments to people. You become that song, you become the scent, and you become the smile in someone. You become a small, tiny, insignificant moment. It last for about a second or possibly longer if you're lucky. But you're never really forgotten, because those small moments can turn into something big. Something better. Something grand. Its back to fragments; you're someone's fragment. They die with you because they're apart of you.

As Eli and Adam pack up the car, Adam hands him the keys and gets in the passenger seat. They don't know where they're going. But they're going somewhere. Leaving everyone they love behind. People think that its just Adam leaving somewhere to cope the death of Eli when really it's him in the driver's seats. He isn't sure how this will work out. All Adam knows is that it's only five months.

"Eli, when the cancer gets bad…."

"Adam. Cancer. Is. Boring." He smirks at his best friend as he starts the car and drives away.

With a sigh, Adam rolls down his window and Eli does the same taking everything in. Breathing. Living. Being. Just being. Because in a moment or another stolen moment, everybody dies. Its part of life.

And so far the boys planned on living the fives months they had to the fullest.

Because sometimes that's all you got. And maybe… just maybe… that's enough….

**So let me just say. I cried throughout the entire time writing this. Because this story is my coping story. I wasn't sure how to end it. But there you go. I hope you enjoyed it and got something out of it. **

**Review? **


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